A hopeless romantic

What does it mean to be a romantic?  What is it like to be one?  Is it healthy or wise to be in love with love?  
I think that being a romantic consists of appreciating each day, stopping to smell the roses so to say.  Its about finding the beauty in life, appreciating how mysterious the universe is from the creation of a star and its solar system down to watching a leaf float on the air as it falls from its branch.  
What would you do for love?
People do lots of crazy things for love. The two extremes seem to be self destruction and the other (which I prefer) is self realization.  
Self Realization you ask...
What I mean by that is the possibility of finding your purpose in life, raison d'etre.  I think that too many people feel that their job is supposed to be their calling in life.  I propose a different idea of a life calling.  I realized that what I want is a family of my own. I want to be a husband and a father.  (Not immediately mind you) In due time of course.  But I realized that there are few things more beautiful than life, than being responsible for another person.  It seems that most people today being responsible for another being is horribly terrifying to them.  I guess I just want to be apart of something more than just myself. Not because I feel alone in the universe.  I just think that loving someone else more than yourself is the only real way to be happy.

wierd dream and doubts

I feel strange today.  I got 7 hours of sleep, but it was my dream this morning that has put in a bit of a funk.  It was a sequal to a dream I had several weeks ago in which I dreamt that I got a girl pregnant and we decided to have it and raise it ourselves. And this morning it got really depressing cause her family moved her away from me cause they didnt think I was capable of being a good father or they were still mad at me for getting their daughter pregnant.  Im not sure what a dream like that is supposed to mean to a 22 year old guy. Maybe I have some feeling in the back of my mind that Im frustrated about not being in full control of my own life, and trying to deal with the new kinds of responsibilities that are being placed on me and what Im taking on for myself.  Maybe I need to take some days for myself after I finish this semester and ponder my life and get things in perspective.  I thought I had a pretty good handle on my life, but it seems that wasnt the case.  Growing up is a bitch.  Can you remember what it was like to be seven and to be oblivious to the problems in the world?

hmmmm

So Im down to the last 9 days of school this semester.  Im so tired, so drained. This semester has been a mix of fun and pain.  Summer cant get here soon enough for me. I have lots to do and many places to go this summer, I just want to be able to enjoy myself and deal with as few problems as possible. I think that I need my personal space again and a good bit of Tender, Loving, care.  It'll be good to spend time with my friends again.  At least its warm again, if it was cold I would really be miserable.  I need some time to unwind and enoy the silence and a quiet mind and a good nights sleep. I hope everyone else is having a decent enough time these days.  I think I need to stop reading the world news, it depresses me too much lately.

Do you ever wonder...

Do you ever wonder what your life would be like if you didnt have your parents and friends guiding you to certain professions? Today I started thinking about my aspirations in a different way than I usually do.  Foremost I want to be a husband and father, that role is what I know Im meant for.  As a profession my parents have tried to carefully guide me into being a tax attorney which doesnt bother me, interesting clientelle, good money.  But I feel like Im lacking in adventure in my life.  The idea of being a helicopter pilot in the armed forces blowing things up, playing with big machinery seems like a fun time mixed with a good discipline and skill set.  I would also like to be a cross country truck driver, I love to drive, the idea of seeing all those miles of America gives me chills of excitement.  Big highways, beautiful scenery, small two lane roads through the desert or forests appeal to me on a very spiritual level. I know that as a tax attorney I will be able to provide much more for my family and friends and being a father is sure to be all the adventure I will need, but my young heart yearns for a little excitement (that doesnt involve getting hit by cars or falling off cliffs).  I guess Im frustrated because I dont feel like my old self, Im dealing with some new emotions that Ive never felt before and I actually thought that whole emotional crap was over when puberty ended.  Maybe Im thinking too much about this.  Maybe Im just upset about a test I thought I did well on and want to escape from that shock.  I guess its kind of hard on me to not have a private space for myself right now, my roommate is always around and his tv habits clash with my study time and space.  I think I can fix that easily enough, I just wish I had dealt with it earlier this semester.  Also Im managing to get myself into an exercise regime, actually noticed more stamina yesterday while swimming, but having trouble with my lower back while rollerblading in the park, guess its just been too long since I used those muscles and asking too much of them on short notice.

The nice stuff

Its amazing how much better some things can be when you spend just a little more $.  How much better wine or liquor can be when drank from fine crystal, or how much closer your shave can be with good soap.  It takes experience and research to develop good buying habits.  Sometimes its fine to buy cheap, I personally love the $1 marble cover notebooks without the metal spirals, theyre small and durable, perfect for college classes etc.  Other things like my computer or music player, nothing but the best will suffice or I felt like Ive cheated myself.  I love my Macintosh Powerbook and iPod, well made with excellent software, and very dependable.  The most important thing to remember is that no matter how much you accumulate, its never enough and that to be truly happy we should seek solace in our God/higher power, our families and friends, cause thats all were left with when tragedy strikes.  Enjoy life, but dont give up ever, tomarrow is another day.  Your fate will reveal itself to you in due time, its left up to us to choose how we live our short lives on this planet.

THE WORST MOVIE EVER MADE!

So I just wasted an hour and a half of my life to see "Ultraviolet".  I have never in my whole life seen a movie that made me so mad about wasting money and time.  They didnt even try to make it a good movie.  Every scene was made with computer generated backgrounds, the fight scenes tried to copy great scenes from other movies, but fell horribly short.  It was always overkill and blurred the action or focused on a small area that it killed the moment.  I have seen better B movies on showtime or starz that held my attention better.  I waited patiently for the whole movie despite my better judgement in the hope that it would improve or I would be proven wrong.  DO NOT WASTE YOUR TIME EVER IN YOUR LIFE TO SEE THIS MOVIE.  Warn your friends, warn your family, warn your dog, do not see this movie, do not buy or rent the dvd!  

Post Mardi Gras

So it started off good, had lots of fun from Thursday to Saturday, but then on Sunday just as I had spent an hour looking for a parking place and gotten out of my jeep, a woman caught the edge of my back door and ripped it forward.  So being unable to leave my jeep with the door open I had to drive home to my apartment and find a place to fix my door and make a claim with my insurance.  Monday I spent dropping off my car and then came home and cooked dinner.  Tuesday morning I got to the parade and found a decent parking spot for my rent car and got to the parade and proceeded to get lit up.  It was a fun day, but that night amazingly couldnt find anyone to go to the quarter with me.  Now I have a day off before classes start again.  I guess Ill celebrate my birthday with some friends on friday night, not like thursdays are a great night anyway. 

back in school

Well Im back in New Orleans, how I missed her so. School is moving right along into week 3. All my classes require massive amounts of reading, and Spanish Literature is stretching my spanish abilities. At least Im learning what each teacher is asking for now on quizzes and daily. To all who read my rants Im sorry I have not updated in a while, I will try to post more this year. I would also ask that you readers leave me posts so I know at least someone is reading them or that someone has interest in my thoughts in even the slightest degree.
Well I hope everyone had a wonderful New Years and best of luck and health in 2006. I spent my break in Manzanillo, Mexico with some good friends from boarding school and got to meet my new God daughter.
Anyway to all a good evening.

History in the making

Blogging is evolving into a world changing action.
http://www.informationweek.com/story/showArticle.jhtml?articleID=174300636

Even House Speaker Dennis Hastert has a blog
http://www.speaker.gov/journal/index.shtml

The Sony reversal is monumental if you think about it. Previously consumers had to go through several intermediaries or use the court system. The idea that thousands of bloggers could scare Sony into ordering a recall on a DRM CD blows my mind. It speaks strongly on the new found powers of consumers and the importance of freedom of speech and the internet.

Pissed off

Am I the only person in the US who is generally pissed off how the world is described? Seems like everyone is perfectly fine with being told the whole world is going to hell. I just dont buy it, sure its not perfect, there are politicians and corporations without ethics, people do drugs, people drive drunk, people get cancer, families break up, women have abortions. But what kind of message are we sending to those that are younger than us? Give up now cause were giving you a FUBARed world.
Despite all the shortcomings of my life, Im genuinely pretty happy most of the time. There's no point in being a pessimist cause life is short, and all to often humans either dont cherish life till its at its end or at all. I thank God for my stupid little life, no matter how insignificant it is in the galaxy. As higher beings were are given amazing things to ponder on whether we know it or not. Free Will. Why did God invent it, seems like he just created it and decided to let man figure it out. The meaning of life? I know my purpose, I dont claim to know anyone else's other than my family members. And no Im not going to tell you cause so far the people I've told tell me Im weird and crazy, and granted I am very weird and eccentric, I still know something they dont.
What about Love? Is there anything greater in life, yes it causes pain and heartache, but think about it, does anything else create true happiness despite that it hurts when we lose what we love. Would we really appreciate anything if we always had it? I dont think humans do, we dont appreciate our gifts, we dont tell our loved ones how much we love them near enough. How many people realize their purpose in life? All too often I think its right in front of us. But I think the origin of a lot of unhappiness is that people dont act on their purpose because they are afraid of the unknown. I say bring it on, take a few chances in life you may surprise yourself. I'm not talking about driving drunk or doing drugs. But what about that trip to Tahiti? That offhand date invite to the pretty girl in class?
Now to drama. I hate drama! All too often I see people creating drama for themselves by making stupid decisions and giving into temptation. Dont cheat on your spouse, dont cheat on your girl or boyfriend. Dont start a fight if someone steps on your foot. Treat others the way you would like to be treated, and dont worry those that always seem to get away with everything will get theirs, its what lady fate lives for. She loves to teach people humility.
Power. What is it that human history teaches us? Those in power always fall from it, either through death, vote, war, or a revolution. Those that live by the sword die by it. In a world of extremes, doesnt it make sense to be a moderate? Honestly being modest never hurt anyone, moderation never killed anyone. Im not advocating being a boring person, just dont be in a rush to grow up, die, live, learn, etc... Life comes at you faster than most people can handle it.
Dont talk trash, because the more you do it the more probable it is that that person will find out about it, and then "you will be in a world of s__t."
Sometimes its frustrating being a history major because those who study it are doomed to see it repeated over and over.

Post Secret

http://postsecret.blogspot.com/

If you are looking for something amusing or thought provoking, check out Postsecret Blog.

Life in the capitol

So there was a bomb scare on capitol hill today. It was pretty weird to be so close to something like that. But I was never concerned for myself and overall it was a very slow and quiet day, I was almost falling asleep while waiting for the phone to ring, and dealing with back pain from leaning over file cabinets to file mail. But I still really like my internship and I look forward to it all week.

Creationism & America in the world

With all the hulabalu going on in this nation about creationism being taught in school theres a simple solution. Sunday school people! Indoctrinate your kids in sunday school like how your parents and grandparents were taught. That way teachers can spend more time on more important things like math and science to keep this country ahead of the chinese nad europeans.
I think it is a bit of a stretch to take for total truth a creation story written by a few lonely men in small communities living alone in the desert. So much of the bible was written that way, small groups of men trying to make sense of their existence and make the most of their days. Today is not the past and we should look to the bible as a moral highground, not as the absolute truth. Those stories are meant to be guidelines, and they are good guidelines to live by. But like everything in life take them with a grain of salt. The human race would not be as advanced as is now if we had followed absolutely everything in the bible.
And also as children of God we need to stop killing each other in his name. Jesus and Buddha preached peace and forgiveness, but we as a society practice grudges, horrible war.

"Consider your origin; ye were not made to live as brutes, but to pursue virtue and knowledge."- Dante; Hell

The other day Pat Robertson, a supposed disciple of Jesus was advocating the assassination of the President of Venezuela. What kind of Christian does that? We need to look at the positive things he has done for his people, improving their lives and education for the children of the country. The media has lots of poisoned stories planted by oil companies to discredit his advances in venezuelan society. US citizens need to be more vocal to US companies and let them know that we wont accept their unethical practices in other countries which reflect badly on the rest of the country. Their actions paint all Americans as heartless, uncaring, and unethical people. If we want to improve our relations with the third world we need to make sure our large corporations act with responsibility and ethics in poor countries and not take advantage of those people.

News choppers

Today on the news their helicopter was hoving over a landfill where a body was found. The picture was live and it went on for about 30 mins or longer, not really sure as I stopped paying attention. I began to think about how much they spend on fuel just to cover an unchanging scene. Seems like they could have recorded about 10 mins worth then moved on instead of having a live image of a dump site and a few guys lingering around a blue tarp. come on US news conglomerates! How about using some footage of international news that doesnt always involve an explosion or looting, molotov cocktails, or some boring summit. There is plenty of footage and stories around the world.

cut the mullet

So I was watching COPS on court tv on mute this evening after simpsons and amusingly enough 2 kids get busted shoplifting and trying to run, when the cops get the kids up against a fence I notice that both kids and both cops have mullets. 4 guys with mullets, I was wondering if there was a WWE convention in that town. Honestly how can anyone anywhere find a mullet attractive to look at?

October 3, 2005

I had some time before a speaker at a media research center downtown on 15th street so I walked over to the national plaza and sat in the shade of the Washington Monument, It never seems as big as when your standing right next to it and you see how big the stones are and how tall it is.


I was walking down a closed off street to traffic and all of a sudden I was behind the White House. It was a bit of a surprise for me as I wasn't expecting it and I dont remember all those buildings around it, I never remembered the National Treasury being so close to the White House but apparently its been there for quite a while. (Thank You Alexander Hamilton)

the irony

I thought this was ironic. In that they used wood to help a young tree grow up straight.

death

Ever notice how cemetarys are made out to be so scary in movies and cartoons? How society is so afraid of the dead coming back to life when so much of christianity is based on some guy who brought another guy back to life and then later himself? Crazy double standards...

hmmmfff

Im too conservative for college...Is it just that Im realistic, not idealistic as everyone else my age? Have I seen enough of the world to see how things are? Have I given up on paradise on earth? Is there something wrong with me or with everyone else? I seem content to work with the system Ive been given, to make my niche in the world and to work behind the scenes, make alliances and friends to change the world subtly.

Anyway, I didnt get an email so I was able to walk around the Capitol mall, I went into the Aerospace museum, revisited some exhibits havent seen since I was 12.

America Today

Why is it almost everytime we turn on the news in this country we are bombarded with so much bad news? It seems like no one has anything to contribute but sarcasm and criticism. The few positive stories are typically dumb, cute crap, is that supposed to make me feel better? Maybe its part of the tragedy of human nature that we are grossly interested in death and suffering. It seems to me that giving of oneself is almost dead in this country. We are a nation with something like 60-70% church attendence, not to mention the jews in temples, the peace loving muslims in mosques, or the buddhists, who are probably the most peaceful people on the planet. The vast majority of people living today need to find out the beautiful feeling of loving someone else more than themselves. Stop trying to convert everyone to your views on life. To your politics, etc... Just accept them, appreciate them for the things you do like. Waste less, tell people the truth always, but always be fair