Do you ever wonder...

Do you ever wonder what your life would be like if you didnt have your parents and friends guiding you to certain professions? Today I started thinking about my aspirations in a different way than I usually do.  Foremost I want to be a husband and father, that role is what I know Im meant for.  As a profession my parents have tried to carefully guide me into being a tax attorney which doesnt bother me, interesting clientelle, good money.  But I feel like Im lacking in adventure in my life.  The idea of being a helicopter pilot in the armed forces blowing things up, playing with big machinery seems like a fun time mixed with a good discipline and skill set.  I would also like to be a cross country truck driver, I love to drive, the idea of seeing all those miles of America gives me chills of excitement.  Big highways, beautiful scenery, small two lane roads through the desert or forests appeal to me on a very spiritual level. I know that as a tax attorney I will be able to provide much more for my family and friends and being a father is sure to be all the adventure I will need, but my young heart yearns for a little excitement (that doesnt involve getting hit by cars or falling off cliffs).  I guess Im frustrated because I dont feel like my old self, Im dealing with some new emotions that Ive never felt before and I actually thought that whole emotional crap was over when puberty ended.  Maybe Im thinking too much about this.  Maybe Im just upset about a test I thought I did well on and want to escape from that shock.  I guess its kind of hard on me to not have a private space for myself right now, my roommate is always around and his tv habits clash with my study time and space.  I think I can fix that easily enough, I just wish I had dealt with it earlier this semester.  Also Im managing to get myself into an exercise regime, actually noticed more stamina yesterday while swimming, but having trouble with my lower back while rollerblading in the park, guess its just been too long since I used those muscles and asking too much of them on short notice.